Mistakes
by Lilia Black
Summary: One shot. James has been making a lot of mistakes lately, and when his best friend starts using the girl he secretly loves, he just can't stop making them again and again. James POV


A/N: James POV

Mistakes

I can't believe it. I just _can't believe it. _I mean, I've seen him do it countless times. He goes out with a girl and plays with her for a couple of days or weeks, depending on the size of her… depending of her good looks, and then, when he's tired or bored, he just tells her that, and it's over. But why pick _her? _And the worst part is not him dating her, she's very, _very _pretty, but I just can't believe _she _fell for his lies! It is just unbelievable and doesn't make sense at all. And that _I _allowed this to happen…

I can still remember how it happened. Three weeks ago we were sitting by the lake, doing what the Marauders do: annoy Peter, make Snape miserable and plan the next prank. Sirius was staring at a group of girls near us, but I didn't think much of it. It's something we all are used to, and it just means the time has come for another girl on his long waiting list. But then he called me and clearly pointed at her with that look he has, like he were a lion staring at his prey, and he said: "Isn't she hot?"

I almost had a heart attack right there, but I know how to pretend.

"Evans? Well, she's kind of cute, but she's too stuck-up, mate. Leave her alone, for your own good."

"Cute and stuck up…. Prongs, are you mad? I think that's what makes her interesting. I'd only leave her alone if you or Remus were interested in her."

And that's were I made my first mistake.

"Interested in her? Me? Of course not. I just don't think she's your type, Padfoot. Plus, I don't think she'll be interested in you. No offense, but everyone knows how she is. Why don't you ask out that girl that has been sending you love letters for the last couple of weeks? Or the one that asked you out last night?"

"No. _She_ is the one," he told me, staring at Lily Evans.

Oh, it would've been so easy to just tell him I was more than interested in her, but I couldn't do it, I wouldn't admit it. A Marauder in love? That was preposterous! It was like Peter getting an O in Potions or watching a heartbroken Sirius; it was simply impossible. They couldn't know.

I couldn't do anything to change his mind without being suspicious, though. I tried reminding him of every girl that sent him from candy to underwear to get his attention, but it didn't work.

Then I made my second mistake: I didn't worry.

The sole idea of Lily Evans going out with a playboy like Sirius was laughable. But it seems I was wrong.

The memory is still fresh. Sirius walked with her after class, tickling her and playing with her hair. And she was allowing it! Sirius asked her something and she clearly said no, but at the same time she let him hug her and play with her ear… _her ear, for God's sake!_

I cleared my throat and called him.

"Sirius! Sirius!"

"Oh, hello, James. Is there something you need?"

And she looked at me. She looked at me with those beautiful emerald eyes, and like she was provoking me, she put her arms around Sirius' shoulders and told him something I couldn't hear. He grinned. The grin on Sirius face meant just one thing: he had obtained what he wanted.

"James, can it wait for later? I'm a little busy right now, and it seems I will be busy for a couple of hours more," he said, holding Lily's waist.

"Well, yes. I mean, it could, but… It's just we… we… we haven't finished that assignment for History of Magic."

"History of Magic? Man, that is not due till next week, James, and Remus owes me a favor after… well, you know. Mate, I really need to go. Duty calls."

She whispered something to him again, and he laughed, following her out of the classroom. He was gone, gone with _her. _And that was two weeks ago. _Two weeks. _

It hurt me just to watch them together, knowing he was spending time with her, hugging her, kissing her, touching her. And it angered me to no end the fact that I knew he was just playing with her. Damn, I was dying, but I didn't say a thing. I pretended it didn't bother me.

That was my third mistake: pretending.

But the fourth... the fourth was thinking he would leave her after two weeks, like all the other girls. He had to be bored, but he wasn't. He didn't break up with her, and he was not cheating, so I decided it was time to do something.

And so I realized I had made another mistake.

Just an hour ago, I came up to our dormitory. I came up decided to confront my best friend, my bother. I came up willing to fight with him, for _her_. When I opened the door, I saw him sitting on my bed, waiting for me with a smile on his face.

The fifth mistake, or maybe I should say the first one, was thinking _he didn't know_.

"Padfoot, what are you doing on my bed?"

"Waiting for you."

"Waiting for me?"

"Yes, I've been waiting for you the last two weeks. I've been waiting for you to tell me, your best friend, that you like Evans. You more than like her."

"I… where did you get that idea?"

I know. That was plain stupid.

"Prongs, why did you come up here?"

"I should've told you."

"I didn't want to take it this far, Prongs, but it was the only way you'd talk. Damn, you're stubborn. I'll break up with her tomorrow, but please, make yourself a favor, mate, and _do something. _Don't just stare at her when you think no one's looking."

"I don't do that."

"Of course you do, and you know it. And don't ever hide anything from the Great Sirius. Remember I know everything."

When he said that, I felt so angry at him that I just wanted to yell at him. If he knew,_ how dare he?_ But he didn't give me time to argue; he left the room.

But now that I had time to think about it, I'm not mad at Sirius anymore. I'm mad at myself.

I know Sirius made it sound like he was his usual egotistical self, but I know he didn't do it because he wanted me to tell him. He did it because he knew that if I kept hiding it, I would never have the courage to do anything about it.

I sighed.

I've been a fool.

But now comes the difficult part.

I can't just go to Evans and tell her I love her. No.

I cannot leave my pride aside and beg her to love me.

I cannot stop being a Marauder.

I cannot be serious about someone at the age of fifteen.

I can't.

I just can't.

Wait… that'd be another mistake, right?

Another mistake.

Everything that happened would be worthless.

A mistake, huh?

Isn't that what I've been doing a lot lately?

A couple more won't hurt anyone.

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A/N: Please tell me what you think, constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

Lilia


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